Being a Caregiver

I quit my job!

Before you make some assumptions; I didn't quit my job because I was lazy or couldn't handle the stress but because I felt like my work there was done.

Let me tell you a story.

During the Fall semester of 2021, I was in a relationship with someone who I had deep feelings for but those feelings were not reciprocated. In short, I ended up losing a lot of myself [and my savings] trying to make things work.

So how do you fix a relationship that's crumbling? See the reality... and in my case, leave.

So how do you replenish a deteriorating bank account? A job.

While I was job hunting, I was out with friends and one of them had made mention of an assisted living that they had worked at. At first, it didn't catch my eye but the more I researched I found that not only would it provide a paycheck but it would allow me to gain patient-contact hours for medical school. It was the perfect job for me.

I was hired sometime in November, onboarded in December, and finally started working alongside my best friend in January.

On January 5th, 2022, we went to orientation. It was a three-hour-long meeting, but we were so fascinated and excited about the new opportunity that we hung onto every word that was said.

The CEO of the company was a very charismatic guy and he wanted us to not only succeed as caregivers but as people in life. He discussed legal things like CPR & First Aid certification, becoming a med-tech, and stories of residents who lived there or were living there, but what caught our attention were the bits of sage wisdom.

These little nuggets of wisdom have followed me throughout my time at the Homestead & are even still applicable in my life now.

1. "Where you put your attention is your intention so pay attention to your intention in your life."

2. "People will not give you their hand until they can see your heart." John Maxwell

3. You will never know love until you love what you do not know.

4. Be fascinated or be frustrated.

5. "The recipe for success: know what you want in life, get a mentor, pay attention to what you want rather than things you don't want, and take action!"

All of them turned out to be true in one way or another.

After days of training, I started my first shift as a B1 Memory Care caregiver on January 9th, 2022. My shift was Monday through Thursday, 8:30 pm to 2 am. I honestly might have been crazy because I had class at 7:45 am and tons of homework to match the 16 credits I undertook.

Seriously, who did I think I was? Wonder Woman? Not.

However, I was using work as a coping mechanism for a relationship that was running me into the ground.

I was lucky to have gotten this job at the time that I did. Not only was it a source of income, med school hours, and a distraction from my personal life, but it was also an experience to better understand people. The human condition and all that. Especially at the time, my Stepdad was being admitted into a home due to some lingering effects after having COVID-19 pneumonia.

Some people told me it's just a coincidence but I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that God places us exactly where we need to be. True enough, this job turned out to be a huge blessing in my life.

When I finally ended that relationship, I was emotionally drained. I'm talking WWE smackdown. I was happy that I finally closed the door on something and someone who was costing me my peace but I was still sad about how and why it ended. To help regulate, I turned to my job.

For once in my life, I truly listened to the scriptures. Mosiah 2:17 "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." I couldn't handle what was going on in my personal life so I threw myself into the service of my residents to try and heal.

I saw so many sides to the medical field: Caring for the residents and their families, caring for them in life but also when they pass, and updating the family on the day-to-day but also comforting the families once it ended.

I could take care of and love residents like they were my own family. I became med-delegated, and certified in CPR/First Aid. I was given a raise twice. I made some of my best friends. But most importantly, the residents taught me, loved me, and took care of me just as much as I did them.

I worked that shift for almost a year. I took a semester off so I could focus on my degree but ultimately I came back. I was so excited, even though most of my previous friends & colleagues had moved on. I was excited to feel the warmth, the love, and the feeling of success after completing a shift.

This time, I chose to work 6 am to 2 pm every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday in the B2 Memory Care building. I fell in love with the day shift. I loved my sweet residents, their families, and my amazing coworkers. This time around I made even more friends.

Sadly, I decided that my time at the Homestead had come to an end. I had small grievances and things that I would not compromise on so, as I said before, if it costs you your peace, then it costs too much. As happy as I was to be back, I felt like my time there was at its end and I was ready to move on.

I don't know whether that will be a different home or a different field, but I know it's going to be exactly where I need to be.

My last day at the Homestead was April 2nd. Who knows if this will be my last time as a caregiver? Maybe I'll become one again but for now, I am resigning as an assisted living caregiver.

In all my time there, I realized that this job gifted me many lessons that will serve me in the years to come. I will never forget my time as a caregiver or my time at the Homestead. I have learned, loved, laughed, grieved, and grown so much. I have made so many new friends and connections. I have learned my value, grown new aspirations, and have felt an expansion in my capacity to love.

Don't get me wrong, caregiving is a demanding job. The long hours, physical demands, emotional turmoil, burnout, etc. It's hard. It can also be so gross. But the other side of it is that it's so rewarding. You will never know love until you love what you do not know. I will truly miss the Homestead and it kills me to leave my residents but I know that my chapter here has come to an end and I have another chapter to begin elsewhere.

"Being a nurse isn't about grades, it's about being who we are. No book can teach you how to cry with a patient. No class can teach you how to tell their family that their parent have died or are dying. No professor can teach you how to find dignity in giving someone a bed bath. A nurse is not about the pills or the charting. It's about being able to love people when they are at their weakest moments." A nurse

There are so many people that I am so grateful for, but that list would be as long as a highway. So I'll bullet point:

• Thank you to the Homestead for the opportunity to learn and grow as a caregiver and a person.

• Thank you to my amazing colleagues who mentored me, cared for me, befriended me, and showed me what a work family looks like (Sebby, Fish, Asiah, Shane, Ella, Audrey, & Melissa).

• All my love and gratitude to my lovely residents, both past & present, from B1 to B4. They have taught me, loved me, and cared for me just as much as I did for them. They taught me my worth and they became part of my family (I would name, but too many, & HIPPA).

• Lastly, all my gratitude to my friends who supported me and cheered me on when I felt the Earth crumbling beneath my feet. You never failed to show me love & support even when I was sobbing in my dirty scrubs (Kate ^2, Juju, Katelynn, Myra, & Ella).

Change is a beast, but she can also be beautiful. Even when your doubts are telling you otherwise, embrace your heart and your mind. Do what makes you happy, life is much too short to live in misery.

Love,

Lauren

P.S. Just some touching words from one of my final residents, Dot... "I will always love you, sweetheart. Wherever you go, I will always love you."