So Bishop Asked Me to Give a Talk: Sunday, February 27th, 2022

In the talk “Hearts Knit Together” by Elder Gary E. Stevenson, he summarized an experiment that was conducted in the 1970s about the effects of diet on heart health. And I know what you’re thinking, where am I going with this? And trust me, I thought the same thing but bare with me.

To summarize, over several months researchers fed a control group of rabbits a high-fat diet and monitored their blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. As expected there was a buildup of fatty deposits inside of their arteries but what they weren’t expecting was that despite the whole group having a buildup, a portion of the group had around 60% less than the others. Of course, they were concerned about whether they had made errors in their measurements or their experimental design but instead found that the researcher who was attending the rabbits with fewer deposits was doing one thing differently: She was giving them love.

One of her colleagues described her as an, “unusually kind and caring individual. She talked to them, cuddled them, and petted them. She couldn’t help it. It’s just how she was". Of course, they were skeptical so they redid the experiment, and much to their shock the results were the same. The rabbits under the care of the loving researcher had significantly higher health outcomes.

Some years later, Kelli Harding turned the research into a book titled, “The Rabbit Effect”. She says, “What affects our health in the most meaningful ways has as much to do with how we treat one another, how we live, and how we think about what it means to be human.”

I have always subscribed to the belief that science and faith go hand-in-hand. What one cannot explain the other can. Perhaps because we’re members of the church the outcome of this experiment was more intuitive rather than a shocking revelation but as Elder Stevenson said, “For me, this lays another brick in the foundation of kindness as a fundamental, healing gospel principle—one that can heal hearts emotionally, spiritually, and, as demonstrated here, even physically.”

Circling back to Kelli Harding’s observation, what does it mean to be human? Human definitely means making a lot of mistakes. Especially when it comes to how we treat others and even ourselves. Often times we forget that love is not just reserved for others. Self-love is incredibly important. You cannot pour from a cup that is empty. Learning to love yourself will heal you, empower you, and restore and open new worlds within you and all around you. Love is the key to all things, but it starts when you learn to see yourself the way our Heavenly Parents see you.

There’s a poem that I love and there is no title or known author. But it reads as follows:

“You are proof that God is an artist. He took you, and took your sin. He made you clean, washed white with blood. You became a canvas for Him to paint images of grace and glory upon. You became a blank page for Him to write sonnets of peace and of love, and He named you worthy. You became a stone slab in which God is now chipping away at, creating you a new heart and shaping you into who you always were: His child.”

We forget that we are children of God and that despite our existence on this Earth only being brief, we make more of an impact than we know. Our purpose here is to learn, to grow, and only through our trials can we do that. But sometimes, these trials are too much, they’re draining and they take a lot from us so how can we lessen the burden?

Jon Bloom, a Christian novelist said, “The most loving thing we can do for others is to love God more than we love them. For if we love God most, we will love others best.” When I first came across this quote, I couldn’t quite understand the principle that it was teaching but as I studied further I came to the realization that essentially it’s just a rewrite of the first and second commandments.

In Matthew 22:36-39, when asked “Master, which is the great commandment of the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind. This is the first great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” There’s a reason why Jesus said the second greatest commandment is like the first: if we love God with all our heart, we will love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37–39). It functions like faith and works; if we truly have the first, the second naturally follows.

We have a heavenly duty to be Christlike: Which means being kind, loving, and compassionate to all. But for us to develop those Christlike attributes, we must learn about the Savior and follow in his ways. Especially in the midst of our trials. Anyone who strives to know our Savior knows that the depth of His love knows no bounds, as He said in John 10: 14 &15 “I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. As the Father knoweth me, even so, know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

The ultimate act of our redemption was done out of love for God, and that love of God in turn gave us the greatest blessing we will ever receive: The Atoning sacrifice of our Savior.

I’m not saying that we are going to go out in the world and start performing miracles like we’re in a circus, but I will say that sometimes the greatest acts of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to others…

For example, we’re all students, we’re all broke, and we all live with at least four or more people. Some work crazy hours, others have a huge course load, some are wrestling with mental health, some are grieving a loved one, some are working through trauma, some are going through breakups, and others are seemingly fine but could be hurting in solace. Everyone has their problems. It’s how we empathize with others because we know what it feels like to struggle, to fall, to fail. The little things are important. Especially with tensions rising in the world and temptation from the adversary seeming to be around every corner.

Some small ways to reach out could be checking in with your roommates, your friends, and your family… see how they’re doing. Smiling at someone who looks like they’re having a rough day. Giving someone a random compliment. Calling the friend you’ve been meaning to call. If your roommate is struggling with keeping up with simple tasks like washing his dishes, just wash them for them every now and again. Small acts make a world of difference.

Extending yourself doesn’t mean running yourself ragged as we serve Him. He doesn’t expect us to make everybody happy. We put those pressures on ourselves. And trust me, I know it’s hard. I’m definitely a people-pleaser. I hate seeing people feel the way I have been made to feel. But anyways, extending love, respect, and kindness, you will undoubtedly be hurt or negatively affected by the bad choices of others eventually. The question is what do we do then? Well, we follow the Lord’s admonition to “love your enemies … and pray for them which despitefully use you.”

Joseph Wirthlin said it best, “What if they’re rude?” Love them. “If they are obnoxious? Love them. “What if they offend? Surely I must do something then? Love them. “Wayward?” The answer is always the same. Be kind. Love them. We can have a far-reaching impact if we are kind.”

Remember, the way people treat you is a statement about who they are as human beings. It’s not a statement about you. However, how we love others reveals how we love God.

The apostle John puts it bluntly: “He who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen (1 John 4:20). Our love for each other is an indicator of the place God is holding in our hearts. God is very good at designing things this way: our faith is revealed by our works (James 2:18), our creeds are revealed by our deeds (Luke 6:46), and our love for him is revealed by our love for others (1 John 4:20). He makes it very hard for us to fake it.

Since the greatest and second greatest commandments are involved in these things, we know they are important to God. So perhaps the best thing we can do today is to take an honest, lingering look at the way we love others, allow what we see to have its effect on us and ask God what he would have us do in response.

I never want to be someone that portrays herself as “perfect” or “having it all together” Because I most certainly don’t. I have flaws, I struggle and have fallen more times than not. I have been hurt and I’ve been the one who's hurt, people. Words have never been truer.

I’m going to share a story in the least amount of detail possible because the details of this story are very personal. Definitely something for therapy, not Sacrament.

I remember when I first came to college, I had some pretty naive expectations. Expectations that I quickly learned were not reality. I have very few memories of those semesters because that was my trauma response to protect myself. But I do remember that on a particularly scary night after something traumatic happened, my roommate came home to find me broken down in tears at 3 am in the morning. When I told her what happened, she immediately called two of our FHE brothers (one was her actual brother). What I didn’t know was what she asked of them but when they came over they were wearing neatly pressed church clothes and offered me a blessing. That night turned my life upside down for the next two years but at that moment, the peace I felt after was relieving. Even if it was for just that night. And what warmed my heart, even more, is that all my roommates were in the next room praying for me. And these two guys who I knew loved their sleep, came prepared to offer me a blessing at 3 in the morning and stayed to make me an extremely early breakfast.

That night my roommates and my FHE brothers' love of God, certainly showed me that they loved me. It showed me how much they valued God. How much they valued our friendship. And how much I wanted to be that kind of person for others.

And just like that, God has seen our unloveliness, he’s seen our brokenness and he’s seen the rebellion in our hearts, and instead of withdrawing, he pursues the end. Much like the rabbits at the beginning of this talk, we too are under the care of a compassionate caregiver. Through the trials of life, He will nourish and heal our souls.

And I just want to take this time to bear my testimony, that I know that God knows us. He knows our names. He knows your past. He knows your weaknesses and your regrets. He cries with you. He knows your fears. He knows what you hope for. He sees your kindness, understands your intentions, loves your goodness & wants you to succeed. His love is pure and real. And I know that as we continue to learn and know our Heavenly Parents and our Savior, we will be able to become more Christlike and spread more kindness, love, and compassion to those around us. I know love, compassion, and kindness are healing. So please use any opportunity to serve others, your roommates, your friends, your ministering assignments, anyone, everyone. But don’t over-extend yourself.

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.