Self Love Club

Ok, so this Valentine's Day? Drained me!! It was an emotional day, both good and bad. Because of that, I'm going to be real with you all for a minute. This has been weighing heavily on my heart for a long time:

The past few months have been comfortably uncomfortable. I've had so much crap thrown at me from every angle and honestly, it's been chaotic. But even so, I thought this was worth sharing...

I NEVER want to be the type of Christian woman that portrays herself as "having it all together" or that "everything is always great". Because I do NOT have it all together and it is NOT always great.

I have flaws, I struggle, and I have failed. I've been broken and beaten and re-broken and put back together more times than I can count. I have my highs and my lows. I have been hurt and I have done the hurting. But that's just it, isn't it?

NOBODY IS PERFECT!

I have tried so hard to be "perfect" only to be bitterly disappointed in myself and with life. Honestly "perfect" isn't original, "perfect" isn't achievable, and "perfect" is simply overrated.

I learned this was later than I should have but "perfection" or "people-pleasing" does NOT guarantee people will love you, let alone like you. This is still a lesson that I'm learning. Everybody is going to have their cheerleaders and their haters. So why waste so much time and energy on trying to be likable, lovable, admirable, or whatever you're trying to achieve?

JUST BE YOU. Unapologetically, authentically, YOU!

The right people (romantic and platonic) will be attracted to you when you are your most authentic self.

Every person deserves to be loved without hiding parts of themselves. Don't change who you are because you feel guilted into playing a part, or because you're scared of rejection or "perfectionism".

Yeah, this Valentine's Day was definitely a growth reflection. The pictures show a happy Lauren, Chilling in her V-Day outfit, ready to take on the world, but once the photoshoot was over it was a ton of crying. A lot of tears were shed for the version of Lauren that I outgrew, for the discomforts that I face, the bad news that weighed on my heart, the humiliation I felt at certain moments, mental health crises, work & school schedules, loss, broken heart, homesickness, and the overall outpour of love from loved ones. Not everything was painful, but it was a lot of emotions I didn't expect to feel that day.

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate LOVE. That is not limited to romantic love. My friend, Myra Moser, she shared her thoughts on Valentine's Day on her story and they struck me:

"Valentine's is NOT just for lovers, spouses, partners or boyfriends and girlfriends. Valentines IS a celebration of all kinds of love. Celebrate your friends, roommates, family, and even yourself! You can also just celebrate things you love. Just because you may not be in a romantic relationship, doesn't mean there is nothing to celebrate this Valentine. Don't let a lack of something limit your joy today. Not being in a relationship doesn't make you any less worthy, or any less truly loved in general. So treat yourself. Treat your friends. Treat your family. Do something you or they love! Just focus on love itself. It can still be an enjoyable holiday." @myramoser on IG

After I read that, I just knew that God wanted me to focus on the other aspects of love. I lost the romantic aspect recently, but that shouldn't have clouded the capacity of love that I have for other things and people in my life. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my roommates. I love the people who were meant to be in my life for only a season. I am where I am today because of all the amazing people that have opened their hearts and minds to me. Are they flawless? No. Am I flawless? No. Does that mean that they aren't worthy of love? No!! Does that mean that I'm not worthy of love? Absolutely not!!

WE ALL DESERVE TO BE LOVED.

Even if you think that not one loves you, you're wrong. Everybody love Somebody. And even if you're still so convinced that there isn't anyone out there that loves you, you're still wrong. There are 3 persons that are constants for everyone:

1. Heavenly Father

2. Heavenly Mother

3. Jesus Christ

If you find yourself "alone" and feeling "unloved" at this time, then use this time to LOVE yourself, LOVE your life, LOVE your people, LOVE everything about now. And know that Heavenly Parents are watching over you and loving you, waiting to see the amazing direction you will take your life. Also, know that your Brother & Savior, knows your pains, your joys, and your desires. Know that He knows your worth. After all, he sacrificed himself so that we can have infinite happiness.

YOU ARE PRICELESS. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE LOVED.

There is this quote my bestie, Juliette McCartney, and I have memorized. This quote was shared with us by our ACT Camp mentor before we entered the testing room to take our final test. It inspired us then and has remained our mantra for the last 4 years.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Out deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won'y feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of god that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people persmission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson

Every time I read that it sends a chill down my spine. It makes me recognize the injustices that I've done myself, why hide who I am to make others comfortable? Why wait for someone to love me to love myself? Why hide in the shadows when I could step out into the light?

In the meantime while I have my season of singleness and same with many others... I will be investing in myself and in my relationships, letting my light shine and being my most authentic self.

Remember, Valentine's Day is the day of LOVE. Love has many aspects so cherish each and every one of them but never forget the most important one... Self-love!

WELCOME TO THE SELF LOVE CLUB

"How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you." Rupi Kaur

Love,

Lauren